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  • in reply to: Eastleigh? #279369
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Result:
    Eastleigh 1-3 Newport

    in reply to: Man City – Naughty Boys! #279363
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    in reply to: Eastleigh? #279362
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Eastleigh 1-2 Newport @ 9/1 is my guess at the outcome of tonight’s game.

    in reply to: Tamworth #279339
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Clearer footage of the goal here.
    The Darlo lad wins the header but inadvertently flicks it on to the back of the 6 yard box.

    in reply to: Míchel Sánchez – Girona FC #279322
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    in reply to: Tamworth #279312
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Can we arrange a whiparound for Rene.

    He really needs to get out more.

    I’m out now.
    I’m blaming the low sun for my poor driving today… a better day on the greens though.

    in reply to: Tamworth #279309
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Revised prediction (already):

    H-T 0-0
    Iron 0-2 Lambs
    Att: 5,177

    I’ll stick with that whatever the team is.

    53rd & 82nd mins for them.
    Finn & Jellis.
    One of the two to score as a result of a Tonks Tomahawk (IBBM – In to Box Ballistic Missile) throw in.

    Sorry guys.
    I’d love to have the yolk dripping from my head at 5pm on Saturday.
    Nothing will give me greater pleasure.
    UTI.

    in reply to: Tamworth #279304
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    I’m going to make an early prediction:

    HT 0-0
    FT 1-2

    1-3 with no Butterfield.

    Winning goal to come in the 82nd minute.

    Elliott for us.
    Finn & Jellis for them.

    Att: 5,177

    My money thief doesn’t have any odds for next Saturday’s NL games up yet.
    Be interesting to see their ‘thoughts’
    1-1 will no doubt be the shortest correct score-cast price.

    in reply to: Tamworth #279303
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    I’ve done when we score at home:

    00-15 = 5
    16-30 = 6
    31-45 = 5
    45+ = 0

    46-60 = 8
    61-75 = 7
    76-90 = 4
    90+ = 1

    Our defensive stats shows that we concede most often in the last 15 mins of games – which is when Tamworth are at their strongest.

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    in reply to: Tamworth #279301
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Football is a game of stats.
    The team with the best stats win games.

    Tamworth have the best defence in the league having conceded only 19 goals from 28 games.

    They’ve kept 14 clean sheets from 28 games.
    In 50% of their games the opponents have failed to score!

    They’ve kept 6 clean sheets away from home – 43%

    Sept 9th to Oct 28th they kept 6 clean sheets on the bounce.

    When do they concede goals?

    00-15 min = 3
    16-30 min = 0
    31-45 min = 2
    45+ min = 1

    46-60 min = 4
    61-75 min = 4
    76-90 min = 3
    90+ min = 2

    They’ve conceded 6 (32%) goals in the first half of games and 13 (68%) in the second half of games.

    Defeats – 6
    Their biggest defeat was 0-2.
    The other 5 defeats have been by a single goal.
    0-1 twice
    1-2 three times
    3 defeats at home – 3 defeats away

    They’ve only failed to score on four occasions. 3 away games – 1 home game.

    Turnovers:
    W-W 16… they’ve won 16 of the games in which they scored first

    W-W = 16
    W-D = 1
    W-L = 1

    D-D (0-0) = 1

    L-L = 5
    L-D = 0
    L-W = 4
    They went on to win 4 games in which the opposition scored first.

    Most frequent winning score:
    1-0 = 5
    2-1 = 4
    2-0 = 3
    4-0 = 3
    3-0 = 2
    4-1 = 2
    3-1 = 1

    In 13 of their victories, they kept a clean sheet.

    In their remaining 7 victories, the opponents only scored 1 goal.

    No one has scored more than one goal against Tamworth when they have won.

    Don the body armour and crash helmets – it’s going to be like the blitz!

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    in reply to: Tamworth #279298
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    We can’t sign players due to the embargo – but how about adding him to the coaching staff?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KeOlQFlsrZU

    in reply to: 8 points behind #279289
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Butterfield, player manager once Jimbob’s contract expires.

    in reply to: Jimmy Dean #279273
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    I’d guess that we are stuck with him until his contract expires due to our finances / debt?

    in reply to: Tamworth #279272
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Tamworth will be deploying their bazookas next Saturday.

    We need to rattle our Sabres to protect the Sky in front of our goal with our SAMs (Sky Sabre).

    Here’s yesterday’s goal.
    A long throw from Tonks.
    Sloppy defending from Darlo.
    They had a 10 v 7 in their box and still conceded.
    They doubled up on the first three Tamworth players, yet left a Tamworth 2 v 1 overload at the back of the six yard box.
    Dolman ain’t ever going to get off the ground (lol) so I’d just go 1 v 1 on him.

    We just need to be more switched on at throw ins and corners than what Darlo were.

    Ready, Aim, Fire!
    Tamworth’s goals by minutes this season:

    00 to 15 mins = 7
    16 to 30 mins = 7
    31 to 45 mins = 7
    45+ mins = 1

    46 to 60 mins = 5
    61 to 75 mins = 9
    76 to 90 mins = 10
    90+ mins = 7

    22 first half goals.
    31 second half goals.

    They score 49% of their goals in the final 30 mins plus injury time of games.

    They score 32% of their goals in the final 15 mins plus injury time of their games.

    Their quiet spell is the 15 minutes immediately after half time.

    It could be a long hard second half next Saturday!

    in reply to: Brackley Town #279261
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    “Belief & momentum”
    Gavin Cowan

    in reply to: Jimmy Dean #279260
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Yeah. We need to keep a grip on reality.

    A club still in existence in 5, 10, 25, 50 years time is all that matters.

    Promotion will happen, when it happens.

    Reduce then eliminate the debt and then take it from there.

    UTI.

    in reply to: How The Play Offs Work? #279259
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Stats make the world go round.

    in reply to: How The Play Offs Work? #279253
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    Play off winners and their regular season finishing positions.

    2022-23 Kidderminster 6th
    2021-22 York 5th
    2020-21 C19
    2019-20 Altrincham 5th
    2018-19 Chorley 2nd
    2017-18 Harrogate 2nd
    2016-17 Halifax 3rd
    2015-16 North Ferriby 2nd
    2014-15 Guiseley 5th
    2013-14 Altrincham 3rd
    2012-13 Halifax 5th
    2011-12 Nuneaton 5th
    2010-11 Telford 2nd
    2009-10 Fleetwood 2nd
    2008-09 Gateshead 2nd
    2007-08 Barrow 5th
    2006-07 Farsley 5th
    2005-06 Stafford 2nd
    2004-05 Altrincham 5th

    2004-05 was the inaugural season of the North & South Leagues

    Occurrences of promotion by end of season League position:

    Eight – 5th placed team
    Seven – 2nd placed team

    In greyhound racing, trap 4 is known as the coffin box.

    No team finishing 4th in the regular season has won the play offs.

    in reply to: Tamworth #279252
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Tamworth – proving pigs can fly!

    The male pigs weigh about 700lbs / 50 stones.

    “The Tamworth is a British breed of domestic pig. It is the only red-coloured British pig.
    Its origins are unknown, but it developed near the town of Tamworth”

    “The hardy, boisterous Tamworth loves outdoor living. This breed doesn’t thrive in factory farming systems, so the breed has never really been intensively reared, meaning this breed’s integrity and flavour has remained preserved for centuries. With the marbling of fat through its meat and its outer layer of tasty fat, the Tamworth is renowned for its eating quality, and particularly famous for its marvellous bacon.”

    in reply to: Tamworth #279251
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Is this the way Tamarillo?

    [the edible fruit of an arborescent shrub (nightshade family) that is native to South America]

    in reply to: Tamworth #279250
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Japanese take over… Tamagotchi.

    in reply to: Tamworth #279249
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    You could say Tammy Win it(Wynette) by a country mile.

    Boom, boom!

    in reply to: Nip & Tuck At The Top #279246
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    No, not the far east ladyboys but the NLN table.

    On paper, Tamworth have the easier game away at Warrington on Saturday. Ours is tougher against Hereford.

    We don’t want to go four points behind them early in December.

    I think the next two months will make or break our season.

    I’ve signed us up to the AA.
    To both the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous.
    The wheels have come off and it’s driving us to drink.

    in reply to: Nip & Tuck At The Top #279245
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    “Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive.”
    Andy Grove.

    We are less than the sum of our parts.

    With our budget, squad, player wages, stadium (maybe it should be more ‘intimidating’ for teams to come and play at GP) and level of support – we should be dominating this league.

    2-0 (four occasions) is our must frequent score.

    1-0 and 1-1 are joint second most frequent on three occasions.

    For me, we don’t kill games off.

    In 18 of our 26 games, we’ve either won or lost by no more than 2 goals or drawn on 18 occasions from 26 games.

    70% of our games are tight, nervy affairs… where so far, we have managed to win more than we’ve lost.

    Of those 18 tight games (scorelines with a differential of +|- 2 goals) here’s our performance:

    P18 W9 D6 L3 Pts 33 Potential Pts 54

    Of those six drawn games:

    Scun 1-1 P Sports (0-0 HT) – we conceded 81st min equaliser.

    Alfreton 2-2 Scun (1-2 HT) – Scales off in 6th min. Conceded 55th min equaliser.
    Led twice in game.
    Ten men for nearly an entire game!

    Chorley 1-1 Scun (0-1 HT) – conceded 47 min equaliser.

    Boston 1-1 Scun (0-0 HT) – conceded 85th min equaliser.

    Buxton 0-0 Scun

    Scun 2-2 Boston (2-1 HT) – conceded 90+1 min equaliser.
    Led twice in game.

    On average we score our first goal in the 31st minute (home & away)

    On average we concede our first goal in the 45th minute.

    At Home, on average we concede in the 49th minute.

    Away, on average we concede in the 42 minute.

    We seem very vulnerable 5 minutes before and after half time and in the last 10 minutes of games.
    3 of those 5 drawn games listed above have seen equalisers scored in the 80th minute plus.

    “A little reconnaissance is butter than being ambushed”
    Officer Crabtree; Allo Allo.

    Another 2-0 score line.
    Sadly, correctly predicted by myself.
    In another thread, I said that Hall needed shackling. Couldn’t manage it could we Jimbob.

    The goals we conceded arrived with the punctuality of Deutsche Bahn AG, the German railway network.

    Brackley Town 2-0 Scunthorpe
    Gudger (47′)
    Hall (50′)

    It wasn’t unexpected, I’d previously highlighted our defensive deficiencies and susceptibility to concede goals five minutes either side of half time. Brackley exposed our weakness.

    What’s that old saying – ‘charity begins at home’
    Our ‘analyst’ needs to forget about what the opposition may do and put our players, performances, stats and data under the microscope.

    A correct score, a named scorer and correctly predicted times of when we would concede – the info was served on a plate.

    I’ll come and play RCB for us next week – show them how to do it!

    UTI.

    in reply to: 8 points behind #279239
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    2/5ths of the season to go.
    19 games – everything to play for.
    Come on Jimbob, your ‘system’ ain’t working. Time to change it… whilst we’ve still time.

    in reply to: Brackley Town #279238
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    19 games to go; all still to play for.
    Jimbob really ought to reconsider his formation?

    in reply to: Today’s Bench #279237
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Latest odds to win NLN:

    Tamworth 4/7
    Scunthorpe 5/4

    in reply to: Outs & Ins #279216
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    If we don’t go up, there will be a plenty wanting Jimbob out.
    We can’t get stuck in this league, it’s a nightmare.

    in reply to: How The Play Offs Work? #279214
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    We’ll probably be drawn against Boston United.
    That’d probably end up as another draw… then it’s the Russian Roulette of penalties.

    Can we get our season back on track and overhaul Tamworth?

    in reply to: Tamworth #279212
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Jimbob has a hell of a lot of work to do to get his troopers ready for next week!