A Huxleyan Kafkaesque Hybrid – The Future’s Grey

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  • #298719
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    When Ryan Reynolds realises that the percentage of his $350m personal wealth that he’s willing to have ‘fun’ with at Wrexham ain’t enough to take the club any further – what’s he going to do?

    We don’t have a RRR. (Rodney).

    The Trust’s notes state:

    “The club has to be more profitable, it needs to increase its revenue and reduce its costs.”

    Attendances
    The last time the club’s average attendance exceeded 5,000 (5,548) was in season 2010-11; in the Championship. In the Championship!

    The mean of average attendances in the following 13 seasons is 3,857.

    Our average home attendance this season is 3,850.

    Our average home attendance last season was 4,204

    So, we’re just a smidge over 350 per game down on last season.

    Cost benefit analysis – what would we have to spend to get back to the ‘heady heights’ of the Chanpionship and an extra 1,691 (average) bums on seats each game?

    You’d have to be insane to throw money at that equation!

    Yet, the four directors are reported to be throwing £65,000 a month in each and every month. That’s a tad over £16k a month each if they are divvying it up equally.

    Over a year, that’s a smidgin short of £200k !

    How long can the present incumbents subsidise / loan that sort of money?

    We’ve seen through the Swann & Hilton eras that the club is ‘worthless’ and that there is no interest in buying a small unattractive club in a town of low populace / catchment.

    So, where do we go from here?

    Increase attendances? How? Cheap seats & free seats don’t cut it.

    26,000 of Scunthorpe’s 81,000 residents are in fuel poverty – struggling to stay warm let alone go along and watch a group of 22 guys kicking an air bag around at level 6.
    32% in fuel poverty!

    IMG-7323

    Football clubs don’t make profits (perhaps go and have a word with the people at Brighton!) – they are play things, ego massagers, tax ‘breaks’, there may even be occurrences or speculation of money being ‘washed’
    You need very deep pockets to run a football club.

    P&L figures from a couple of seasons ago:

    IMG-7322

    Revenue’s
    IMG-7317
    IMG-7318
    IMG-7319
    IMG-7320
    IMG-7321

    The disparity is alarming!
    As the Borg said “Resistance is futile!”

    Football is futile.

    Look at Leyton that season, £6m revenue and ‘produced’ a £4m loss!

    So, what does the future hold for this board, this football club and these supporters.

    A realignment of hopes & expectations with reality?

    Cost cutting – dirty words but it looks to be the only way that the club will maintain its existence.

    Minimise the office & peripheral staff, pay freezes, re-evaluation of job content, value & efficacy, increase the use of volunteers (most clubs at our level wouldn’t exist without volunteers), minimal playing staff on ‘realistic’ wages, minimal coaches, minimal non playing staff, do we need ‘specialists’ (I don’t need a GPS monitor to tell me how hard someone has worked in a game).

    Restaurant, Hospitality & Events manager

    What are the P&L figures of the restaurant over the last 20 years?

    Hospitality & Events – The event is the game at 3pm every other Saturday.
    When you’re up shit creek without a paddle, you need to focus on the core business… the football.

    Which leads me on to the planned 3 day music extravaganza. So they are hoping to attract 10,000 per day to watch unknown local amateur bands and tribute bands.
    So they are hoping 30,000 of the 81,000 of Scunthorpe will pay good money for this. Jesus… ain’t going to happen.

    3 days – 3 lots of costs – maximise your loses boys!

    People who want to go to a festival want a muddy wet field where they can pitch their bivvies, smoke their happy fags and have a roll around in the sludge with a member of the opposite sex or same sex or an alien / ET.

    If you really want to try it, test the water with a single event first.
    How did the giant screen movie nights do a couple or three years ago?

    So, we are where we are. The future’s grey… but at least we’ve still got a future.

    We need to learn from our recent past and not chase a delusional dream.

    Let’s hunker down, play 4-4-2, play entertaining football that puts a smile on our faces and we go home happy whether we’ve won 4-3 or lost 3-4.
    Only one club can win the Premier League, the pyramid below is only there to ‘feed’ the top six clubs.

    If breaking even each years means a prolonged stay in NLN / NL… then so be it.

    UTI.

    #298722
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    Which leads me on to the planned 3 day music extravaganza. So they are hoping to attract 10,000 per day to watch unknown local amateur bands and tribute bands.
    So they are hoping 30,000 of the 81,000 of Scunthorpe will pay good money for this. Jesus… ain’t going to happen.

    Various parts of your post make a lot of sense, and I agree with much of what you said. Particularly in regard to the 3-day music festival.

    Staging a load of tribute bands and local acts will never ever attract 10,000 people for each day. In fact, it’d be lucky to get 500 – 1,000. It represents a massive financial risk.

    An outside organisation could hire the stadium and grounds for a fee and put something on with an outstanding bill, and you could probably then expect people to travel from out of town / across the region to attend. I imagine that to be the way this actually goes, rather than the club doing anything more than providing a venue.

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    #298724
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    Restaurant, Hospitality & Events manager

    What are the P&L figures of the restaurant over the last 20 years?

    Hospitality & Events – The event is the game at 3pm every other Saturday.
    When you’re up shit creek without a paddle, you need to focus on the core business… the football.

    I’d imagine the figures aren’t great. But I disagree – I think the club really does need to offer at least a matchday dining experience. It’s a way to accommodate people who want a bit more than just standing up or sitting down outside for two hours, and it also covers hospitality, special occasions for supporters and so on. However, they need to seriously up the game – in my recent experiences of the restaurant the food has been quite poor.

    #298725
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    Minimise the office & peripheral staff, pay freezes, re-evaluation of job content, value & efficacy, increase the use of volunteers (most clubs at our level wouldn’t exist without volunteers), minimal playing staff on ‘realistic’ wages, minimal coaches, minimal non playing staff, do we need ‘specialists’

    Part of Scunthorpe United’s problem is that it’s a relatively big operation (stadium, size of fanbase etc) for where we find ourselves in terms of league status. There’s a lot to it, a lot of moving parts that must be addressed each week. To be honest, it looks to me like there are less employed staff now than there have ever been so that will have had a positive impact on the wage bill. You mention ‘re-evaluation of job content, value & efficacy’, and I think they are probably addressing this. I immediately think of James Moody who has had periods in the not too distant past of seeming to wear about 500 different hats. That’s not sustainable. Perhaps, as it stands, in a couple of key areas they haven’t made the right additional appointments yet (hospitality etc)…

    #298726
    FerriteFerrite
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    I haven’t got time to get through the whole of Renée’s novel but one thing it highlights is that Swann did absolutely nothing to grow crowds, even with all the money spent on players. A pretty damning indictment.

    #298727
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    You’d have to be insane to throw money at that equation!

    Yet, the four directors are reported to be throwing £65,000 a month in each and every month. That’s a tad over £16k a month each if they are divvying it up equally.

    Over a year, that’s a smidgin short of £200k !

    How long can the present incumbents subsidise / loan that sort of money?

    We’ve seen through the Swann & Hilton eras that the club is ‘worthless’ and that there is no interest in buying a small unattractive club in a town of low populace / catchment.

    So, where do we go from here?

    Personally, I think there’s even scope for a properly planned and run membership scheme. I don’t know what form it would take or how it would play out, but in addition to all the other contributions I regularly make (tickets, merchandise, lottery etc), I wouldn’t object to paying an ongoing monthly subscription to a membership scheme of some kind. Let’s say £10 a month. Multiply that up and there’s potentially a substantial amount to go into the pot. As I said, I don’t know how a scheme of this kind would look, but there would obviously have to be some form of benefit to the subscribers.

    #298728
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    I haven’t got time to get through the whole of Renée’s novel but one thing it highlights is that Swann did absolutely nothing to grow crowds, even with all the money spent on players. A pretty damning indictment.

    It’s worth reading as he raises some sensible points worth thinking about.

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    #298730
    Deereyme66Deereyme66
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    In the recent interview on Iron Hour, Ian Sharp admitted they have made mistakes and will probably make more. I really hope this idea for a 3 day music festival at which they hope to attract a whopping 10k people a day, isn’t one of them. Can’t see that any of the board have experience of organising music events like this and it might explain the pie in the sky target. I hope they give their heads a wobble and think it through properly, and don’t rope in someone who promises the earth but ends up burning them, and ultimately the club

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    #298731
    cassidystashcassidystash
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    CEOs idea?

    #298732
    Deereyme66Deereyme66
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    Rene for ‘best thread title of the year’ award btw. Total BS that festival goers want a muddy field mind. Nothing could be further from the truth

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    #298733
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Rene for ‘best thread title of the year’ award btw.

    It is only early February…

    #298734
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    In the recent interview on Iron Hour, Ian Sharp admitted they have made mistakes and will probably make more. I really hope this idea for a 3 day music festival at which they hope to attract a whopping 10k people a day, isn’t one of them. Can’t see that any of the board have experience of organising music events like this and it might explain the pie in the sky target. I hope they give their heads a wobble and think it through properly, and don’t rope in someone who promises the earth but ends up burning them, and ultimately the club

    It would be a massive financial risk for the club to undertake, as well as a logistical nightmare. They definitely do not have the expertise required. Just the talk of ‘tribute bands and local acts’ tells you that.

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    #298736
    AwaywegoAwaywego
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    Don’t know whether it’s the Ceo’s idea but he must behind the night with the 2 motor bikers.

    #298737
    cassidystashcassidystash
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    Rene for ‘best thread title of the year’ award btw. Total BS that festival goers want a muddy field mind. Nothing could be further from the truth

    Unlikely to be pipped for “longest” thread of the year title but a nailed on certainty for longest OP of the year (decade/century)

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    #298741
    JOHNMMAWJOHNMMAW
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    The game in the Lincolnshire Senior Cup played at Bottesford was behind closed doors because we could not afford the security. How can they now afford the security/policing for a potential 10000 attending. They will have to employ personnel to ensure security for that figure and have to pay them!! If only a few hundred turn up those security will still have to be paid. You cannot wait until the day and try and reduce the security personnel when you realise how low the attendance is going to be.
    As for a membership scheme, it was mentioned maybe £10.00 per month. The only perks that could be offered is a reduction in ticket/shop purchase etc. Giving with one hand taking it away with the other

    #298743
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    The game in the Lincolnshire Senior Cup played at Bottesford was behind closed doors because we could not afford the security. How can they now afford the security/policing for a potential 10000 attending. They will have to employ personnel to ensure security for that figure and have to pay them!! If only a few hundred turn up those security will still have to be paid. You cannot wait until the day and try and reduce the security personnel when you realise how low the attendance is going to be.

    I’ve thought about this particular issue long and hard and, as I said, I sincerely doubt Scunthorpe United FC will be doing more than (effectively) hiring out the stadium to event organisers. The logistics involved in putting on gigs are immense, and the financials leave a margin so thin for the promoter it’s almost not worth doing.

    If they are doing more than merely providing the venue, and are organising a festival, underwriting it, promoting it, staging it, running it, then they’d be at serious risk of cutting their own throat in my opinion.

    #298744
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    As for a membership scheme, it was mentioned maybe £10.00 per month. The only perks that could be offered is a reduction in ticket/shop purchase etc. Giving with one hand taking it away with the other

    This is where ‘outside the box thinking’ would come into play, and ‘rewards’ for membership that would not cost the club anything (or anything much) would be the order of the day.

    #298754
    AwaywegoAwaywego
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    “Outside the box thinking”
    Gated Bike nights or weekends both bars open, restaurant, camping on training pitch couple of Rock tribute bands, trade stands, food outlets, bike jumble. All without using the stadium at all.
    Same with the Scooter’s sub Mod bands instead
    Caravan club weekend (and before you laugh they had one at Brumby hall which was well attended).
    Start small and build up.

    #298755
    TwoWrightsTwoWrights
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    A friend (stop laughing AWG) I went to school with has organised the annual Tribfest at Sledmete House for years. It’s his only job as he makes enough money from it to see him through the year. It’s a three day event, £82.50 per day, or £165 for all three days. As I say he’s done it for years, and it attracts around 4,000 per year, so the best of luck with attracting 10,000.

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    #298756
    Ironmatt84Matty
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    Our stadium isn’t fashionable enough for big fancy events.

    #298757
    TwoWrightsTwoWrights
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    *Sledmere House.

    #298758
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    A friend (stop laughing AWG) I went to school with has organised the annual Tribfest at Sledmete House for years. It’s his only job as he makes enough money from it to see him through the year. It’s a three day event, £82.50 per day, or £165 for all three days. As I say he’s done it for years, and it attracts around 4,000 per year, so the best of luck with attracting 10,000.

    They are proposing / projecting a full house each day… 10,000 a day.

    #298769
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    “Outside the box thinking”
    Gated Bike nights or weekends both bars open, restaurant, camping on training pitch couple of Rock tribute bands, trade stands, food outlets, bike jumble. All without using the stadium at all.
    Same with the Scooter’s sub Mod bands instead
    Caravan club weekend (and before you laugh they had one at Brumby hall which was well attended).
    Start small and build up.

    Not disagreeing, just wondering how you think the club would make serious money from this?

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    #298778
    AwaywegoAwaywego
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    Mainly bar takings in the beginning obviously a small entrance fee £10 ish and like I said start small and build up. Club can Ill afford to take many risks of which a stadium gig most of us to think is a no go.

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    #298796
    IronaweIronawe
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    The commercial management is a joke, we’ve gone from sponsoring sticky toffee pudding to mini Glastonbury. It must be like Phoenix nights working there.

    #298802
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Mainly bar takings in the beginning obviously a small entrance fee £10 ish and like I said start small and build up. Club can Ill afford to take many risks of which a stadium gig most of us to think is a no go.

    12p profit a pint? – is it worth the effort?

    Your casual pop in / out, 2 pints in an hour drinker will make you 24p

    An 8 pint session drinker will tie a table up for say 4 hours and you’ll nearly make a full quid profit.

    If someone nicks a couple of bog rolls then that wipes out that profit and leaves you in the excrement.

    Stealing ornaments, accidental & deliberate damage / vandalism to seating, furnishings, fixtures etc and then either the ambience of the venue or your bank account is lowered.

    IMG-7333

    #298807
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    Mainly bar takings in the beginning obviously a small entrance fee £10 ish and like I said start small and build up. Club can Ill afford to take many risks of which a stadium gig most of us to think is a no go.

    12p profit a pint? – is it worth the effort?

    Your casual pop in / out, 2 pints in an hour drinker will make you 24p

    An 8 pint session drinker will tie a table up for say 4 hours and you’ll nearly make a full quid profit.

    If someone nicks a couple of bog rolls then that wipes out that profit and leaves you in the excrement.

    Stealing ornaments, accidental & deliberate damage / vandalism to seating, furnishings, fixtures etc and then either the ambience of the venue or your bank account is lowered.

    IMG-7333

    To be fair to AWG, at least he came up with an idea. In principle it wasn’t a bad one, sounded like a potentially attractive event. But as you point out, money making opportunity might be quite low – unless the club charged a good-sized fee for the use of their land etc etc etc?

    #298811
    Deereyme66Deereyme66
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    Call me old fashioned but isn’t a detailed strategic plan to raise income from many sources and activities required as opposed to what IA refers to as Phoenix Nights style ideas? That’s what I’d expect from the CEO, with various working groups to help conceptualise and deliver.

    #298812
    Apollo11Apollo11
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    Call me old fashioned but isn’t a detailed strategic plan to raise income from many sources and activities required as opposed to what IA refers to as Phoenix Nights style ideas?

    Absolutely. NEXT!

    #298819
    Rene ArtoisRene Artois
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    Instal private boxes in the restaurant.

    Convert the remaining space in the restaurant to a kids soft play centre.
    Hot dog / burgers / nuggets / fish finger & chips & beans / peas would be the menú del día and served in a small tabled area.

    There are loads of shops around the ground these days, women love shopping and it’d be a great place to take the kids whilst they (parents) catch up with the latest gossip with their friends.

    £7 a session at Cheeky Chimps.
    Extra charge for food, obviously.

    https://cheekychimpsscunthorpe.co.uk/

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