Rugger fans’ point is still very much valid…that incident was a huge anomaly which very rarely, if ever, happens (hence the 3 game suspension). If 3 game suspensions were handed out for that in football you probably wouldn’t be able to put on a single game due to the number of suspensions!
Well, if that’s the case, I’d argue that’s not an instinctive respect for the ref, but a desire not to be penalised. Which is still a good thing.
Also note that a lot of the players still refer to the rugby ref as sir and some refs call players by their first names.
I’m pretty sure football referees are often on first-name terms with players too.
The rugger refs have to explain their decisions because there are so many rules in the game, it’s often impossible to tell why a decision has been given!